That's what happens when you corner the blog market on the fancy new wine bar in the neighborhood. As a result, my blog viewership has increased by 253.85% (according to Google Analytics). In fact, on December 29th, I had my most visits ever, 21. Yes we can! It's sad to say, but apparently people are more interested in restaurants and wine bars than esoteric posts about poetry and baby names. Speaking of which, my friend Alex had his third kid, and he, astonishingly, decided not to go with one my name suggestions from weeks back. He went with Anne, Anne Elizabeth. Yeah, that's way better than what I came up with...Not!Luckily, the new year has been great. And by great I mean I went to a crappy 1929 themed, masquerade New Year's Eve party complete with cover, cash bar, no champagne toasts, $2 masks, and 1920s music.
They didn't even do a proper countdown to midnight. Instead, I had to look at my cell phone intently and watch for it to say, 12:00. Of course, I was with Girl, so it wasn't all lost. Except I was the idiot who thought that New Yorkers would actually follow the "you will not be allowed entry without a mask" requirement. I figured people would go all out, so I went and bought an authentic $40 masquerade mask; not some crappy plastic $2 string and staple number, but a real mask made out of real leather. It makes me look like a cross between Batman, Robin, and Kato from The Green Hornet.
Sure, my mask was bad-ass, but when 90% of the party-goers are either (a) not wearing masks at all or (b) wearing a mask that would melt in the sun, then you're not consoled just from looking bad-ass and, instead, you seethe with internal hate and disgust over wasting $38. And, of course, the costume store doesn't accept returns either because they know that everyone in their right mind would buy a mask, wear it one night, and return it the next day faster than you can say, "why did I buy a $40 mask?"On the bright side, I now have a mask. On the brighter side, I'm undoubtedly going to attend every masquerade ball possible just to get my $40 worth. I'll wear this thing to weddings if I have to, it's that simple.
On the brightest side, Sunnyside Lowdown is ready to take the world by storm in 2009. First, Hottest Blog, next Global Blog, next...something else. It's amazing what you can do when you come up with fake titles and accolades.
Jared
3 comments:
How do you do an entire post about some dumb mask and then not post a picture of the mask?
Technically, the post is also about this being one of the "hottest" blogs in 2009.
The only hit for a google search of "Hot Blogs 2009" is the Lowdown.
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