Horoscopes and Hand Grenades

It's not exact. The future is unmapped and beyond description, but maybe not. Maybe there's a pattern, a thread throughout that can be traced. Maybe time is like that.

Life repeats itself, surely. Wars are fought over and over again. The same wars, for the same reasons, with the same destruction, just different years. The same women and men cheat on spouses, the same high school sweethearts fall in love, the same people tear themselves down, make sacrifices, raise themselves up, the same birds chirp in the morning, the same winds blow through trees and streets. So, maybe those pretending to read portents are just basing their predictions on high probability. Either way, my friend at work read me my horoscope the other day and I'll be damned if it's not starting to come true.

For starters, I'm a Capricorn. On a side note, in the Chinese calendar, I was also born in the Year of the Goat. So I've got double goat action going on. You can't disregard something like that. Not to belabor the point, but my law school's mascot was also the goat and we had a large goat statue in one of the student lounges. In conclusion, there are a lot of goats in my life.

I've never paid much attention to signs and horoscopes or fortune-tellers, but I know a couple people who like to dabble in those areas and I've learned that I am a dyed-in-the-wool Capricorn. I gathered from one of the office court clerks that I'm a Capricorn because I'm clean cut and easy to talk and joke around with. From my father's girlfriend, I've gathered that I'm a Capricorn because I don't like being cornered or pestered with incessant questions and because I'm generally thoughtful. I've never done any research to review their assessments, but I'll assume they're correct.

The first thing I learned, and this was integral, is that Pluto is about to enter my, I don't know, space, orbit, house, something, on November 27. Coincidentally, most people will live their whole lives without ever having the benefit of Pluto visiting their space, orbit, house, galaxy, studio apartment because Pluto is slow-moving. This is momentous. The entrance of Pluto brings great tidings, revolutionizing the structure of my life from the inside out. It will increase my determination and rebound ability.

In addition to Pluto, I have Jupiter too, which makes me the "Golden One" until January 5th. Being the Golden One sounds awesome. Like being the Golden Child from the Eddie Murphy movie, which wasn't that bad of a movie.

The world is my oyster this month. This month is very important for my career because Mars entered my "career zone." A whole new chapter is rapidly opening for me. I'm also going to meet with someone who will further my aims. The "buzz" about me is very positive and I need to take full advantage. Still, I need to be a little cautious sorting out my options from September 24th to October 15th. With predictions this sound, I'm surprised I was skeptical.

I'm sure there was more to the horoscope, but I stopped listening. It turns out, I should have listened further.

My friend, Ramsey, and I are trying to put a potential business plan together and the past few days have been very interesting. First, Ramsey moved back to New York after clerking in Miami for a year. He was the originator of the idea and no matter how often we talked about moving forward with it, nothing got off the ground while he was away. Our attempt at trademarking the name of the business was rejected and neither he nor I could summon the cognitive creativity to build a logical argument to appeal to the US Patent & Trademark Office. As a result, our name laid dormant, even though I'm convinced that when it comes to using the name we'll be fine because the only reason why we weren't able to use it was because it was someone's last name, but he's dead. In other words, we should be fine.

Second, I got in touch with someone who was providing us with industry information and they referred someone who might be interested in investing in the idea. I emailed him today and he got back to me. I even Googled him so when I talk to him on the phone, I'll appear knowledgeable. I found an article about his business and some of the innovations his company introduced and I felt, from reading the article, that here was someone who would be able to grasp our idea and could untap its potential. I even forwarded the article to my dad, who's been paying attention to our progress, and, coincidentally, he knew the guy and worked with him on a commercial project over 10 years ago. When I call him up, now I can say, "my dad knows you, etc." Name-dropping is everything.

This horoscope has been close so far, like a dart thrower inching closer and closer to bulls eye. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Horoscopes too. I'm not saying I'm a believer. For all I know, hearing my horoscope motivated me to be proactive, and it has been that initiative, which produced these results. Either way, thanks Pluto, Jupiter, Mars, and any other planet, moon, or comet that I'm neglecting.

Jared