Parents and grandparents excessively dote on their only-children. They don't have to split up candy
bars or designate play-time with certain toys or hand-down clothes. The only-child gets it all. The entire Snickers. The full allotted time with the electronic, semi-remote-controlled race track. 
New clothes from Gap every growth spurt. Pampered and cared for, only children quickly grow accustomed to their excess.Spoiled brats, that's what they are often called. Spoiled like old milk and moldy bread. Spoiled like babies diapers full of crap and rain on your wedding day [Or is that "ironic"?]. Spoiled like the Mets' World Series hopes in 2006 and the Knicks every year. Spoiled rotten like sliced apples left out for too long and bananas from corner convenience stores. Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled!
In film there is a similar notion known as the "spoiler." The dreaded spoiler, the unintended, unsought for excessive glimpse into the plot, story, characters, ending, surprise ending, unveiled secret of a film. The best way to see a film is to go in blind, knowing nothing. In our over-exposed media culture this is a difficult feat to achieve. The last film I saw with complete ignorance was Lilya 4 Ever, a low-budget, independent Russian film my sister somehow heard about and decided to see, taking me along for the ride. All I knew was that there seemed to be a character, most likely female, named Lilya. And something about her being "4 Ever." That was it. What I ended up watching was one of the most depressing, sadistic movies I've ever seen.
Poor Lilya is a teenager, abandoned by her mother who ditches her for America promising to send money to bring her over later. This never happens. Lilya's aunt moves into the apartment to watch over Lilya, eventually taking over the place for herself and kicking out Lilya. Lilya's only friend is a younger boy who gets killed, somehow. Lilya starts sneaking into older bars and meets a guy who she likes and who she believes wants to take her away to a nicer place [I think Denmark], which he does, but not so she can have a better life, but rather so she can be forced into prostitution. After multiple suicide attempts in Russia and Denmark, the movie ends with her, finally, successful attempt. Needless to say, I saw it twice and bought the DVD for my mom for her birthday. At least nothing was spoiled.
Another movie that I knew nothing about, but which left a much more positive residue was The Usual Suspects. Great movie, great ending. Had I known who Kaiser Soze
was, I would've been floored. Since that movie I've always striven to know as little as possible about a movie. I like being surprised.I used to think spoiling movies was wrong. In particular, there was the fiasco with my sister when she told me that in Grizzly Man the documentary subject dies. I felt spoiled, until I learned that in the first minute of the movie they tell you that the guy is dead. Not really a spoiler after all, but still I never saw the movie. It all came to a head today while I was G-chatting with my friend Dre who writes for Film.com and some other allegedly in-the-know movie website with a name you wouldn't remember even if you came up with the name yourself, Ropeofsilicon.com. He sent me a link to his new review of Pineapple Express, a movie which I have been wanting to see, especially after the preview, which includes a scene of a slightly chubby, messy-haired white guy
with a neck-brace cocking a shotgun and saying "thug life" in a falsetto. Understandably, I've been saying "thug life" in a similar octave for the past three weeks.I opened the link and skimmed the review, spotting details of which I wished to remain ignorant. So I stopped skimming. The following IMs then occurred [I added proper punctuation so we wouldn't look like uneducated douchebags, but decided against proper capitalization and spelling]:
12:45 PM
Andre: read my review u fuck?
me: why? so you can ruin the movie for me?
Andre: i don't spoil movies in my reviews
me: just by skimming i already know franco has a young girlfriend, thanks for ruining it
Andre: u obviously can't read
12:46 PM seth rogan does u nitwit
me: and lots of people die, great
franco... rogen, who gives a shit
Andre: oh my god what a spoiler!
i describe the premise, the movie ends in a diner and Red has a sort of redemption
thats it
nothing u cant gather from the trailer
i actually use the trailer as my basis
12:47 PM if the trailer shows something, it's fair game
me: that's true
You probably read that so fast that you missed my seismic paradigm shift, but there it is, just after 12:47 PM: "that's true." I actually wanted to write a snide comment, but sucked it up and agreed. Dre is right, "if the trailer shows something, it's fair game." Trailers are the ultimate spoilers. Everyone knows that U.S. trailers these days give away too much of the movie. Still, even trailers that don't reveal too much can be dissected easily and the main plot and conclusion summed up. We need to suck it up and admit, when it comes to movies these days, we are, forever, only-children. Spoiled to the core. No matter how much we try to avoid or hole-up, the word is going to get out. Don't fight it. From now on, whenever anyone talks about a real movie spoiler save it for something that really spoils: Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze, Bruce Willis is dead, Soylent Green is people;
and not what we already know: Britney Spears can't act, the Transformers win, in a romantic comedy the main actor and actress get together in the end, etc.Say goodbye to only-child status and hello to your new movie brothers and sisters, it's time to start sharing and caring!
Jared
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